


Watch him go

by sundaystyle



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Gen, Natasha Feels, Natasha-centric, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-16 08:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2263398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaystyle/pseuds/sundaystyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Black Widow and Hawkeye were once in love. Everyone knows that.<br/>What they don't know is that Natasha and Clint are still in love but Clint is giving up and Natasha doesn't do anything to stop him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't good but hey. It starts out from Clint's side but ends with Natasha's and this is why I'm not a writer. But I felt like writing so I did. Hope you enjoy xx

"Oops."

He felt it before he could see it, the sharp impact of the floor beneath him, making him groan out loud in pain and suddenly all he saw was red. When he came to himself a milisecond later, he realized it was her hair and the colour had changed into a pair of green, staring into his soul with a hint of mischief. A second ago he had been teasing her, sparring in the gym Stark had built in for their, quote, too dangerous for anywhere near a civilian, quote, sparring sessions. He might have a point. 

She was breathing heavily on top of him and he could feel the weight of her petite body. While his instincts were telling him that she was light so he could easily throw her off, his experiences warned him to not be fooled, and he knew which feeling to trust. He tried to catch his breath, but it got stuck in his throat at the sight of her. A smile reserved only for those who she let her walls down around, the proud glint in her eyes and the joke dead at the tip of her tongue. He had challenged her and she defeated him, and while it should have hurt his pride, it didn't. 

"You were saying?" Natasha smirked, still on top of him and he made no move to escape her hold. He studied her face, while calculating 12 different ways he could have escaped, 3 different counter-attack scenarios and only one way he could get his bow and arrows back, but definitely not without a gunshot to his back, had this been an actual fight between the two of them. "Okay." He gave in, eventually. "You got me. I give up." He almost laughed despite himself at the little cheer she gave, albeit not visible for anyone else there- had there been any poor soul to dare to be.

He knew her, he knew her sometimes better than herself and at times that thought frightened her. He had seen her at her most vulnerable, at her angriest and at her times of happy. And while the reverse had also been true, there were also things that he did not know, and hence things he knew wrong about her. And those were the parts she was scared of the most.

To say that Hawkeye trusted Black Widow 100% would be a lie, and neither one of them would ever suggest that it's the truth. Natasha knew it, Clint knew it, Coulson, Hill and Fury knew it. But Clint trusted Natasha and Natasha trusted Clint. That was a different part of themselves, who they agreed to be. 

There was a time Black Widow had been in love with Hawkeye, and Hawkeye was in love with Black Widow. There was a time Black Widow was forced to lie to the only person she allowed into her heart, leading him to believe she betrayed them. There was a time Hawkeye forgave Black Widow regardless when the time came, he never knew that she wasn't the traitor, but only an agent sent into the enemy forces, a spy, deceiving not only the enemy but also the man she loved.

But work came first. 

There was a time Natasha wanted to tell Clint all that. Pin him down and force him to hear what she has to say, come clean, and now that SHIELD was gone, why would she hide their secrets anymore? There was absolutely no reason to. She could hold him down, with no ways for him to escape, and make him listen. Tell him that he was and still is always the man she fell in love with, and she is in love with. If he just gave her another chance...

"Mr. Barton, Miss Drew wants to know if you're ready. Shall I tell her you're on your way?" 

Right.

Natasha rolled off of him, laughing as she stood up and pulling her hair back. "You better go." 

There was a strange look that flashed in his eyes, that she wasn't sure how to read it. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do."

There was a time Natasha realized Clint was slipping away from her hold. She watched the man she loved fall out of love with her, move on and get married once. She watched the man she loved held back his confession because he knew she'd never return those feelings- for a man with eyes as sharp it was slightly disappointing that he couldn't see. Then again she was really good at hiding.  
She watched the man she loved pull away from her and leave the room to meet a girlfriend he's slowly falling for. 

Natasha wanted to tell him so many things, to not go, to stay for her, to try again and this time she'll be better. She wanted to promise him Natasha and not Black Widow, the woman who used to use him. But she didn't.

So she watched him go.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because it was sad.  
> Because it shouldn't have to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after that Avengers Assemble comic where Natasha initiates a kiss with Clint, after he called her his best friend. She then proceeded to scold him because he kissed her back and he has a girlfriend. He's too shocked to even react as he watches her leave. 
> 
> There also was a talking and fighting raccoon so he didn't have much time to focus on it, until much later.
> 
> A mix of comics and MCU because I love the MCU and comics because why not. It's post CA:TWS and GoTG.

Natasha cursed under her breath in Russian. It wasn't that she felt more comfortable in her mother tongue, if anything she felt the opposite- but the situation didn't call for a comfortable reaction so it was fine. Also English was never enough for her colorful opinions and they always felt more smooth in Russian. 

She was an idiot nevertheless. Tough, yeah, sure. She knows that and apparently so does everyone else, and honestly it was strange. She didn't want to show it, because she didn't want anyone to worry for her. Certainly not Clint. And had it been anyone else, she'd be by their side as well, urging them to get their wounds checked- but not her. She wasn't... She didn't need the care. At least she thought she didn't, so when Clint noticed that she was in pain, it surprised her. 

Best friend. Well. 

So why, what part of her delusional mind thought that it was okay to kiss him after such a claim? Especially knowing that he has a girlfriend and knowing that he wasn't feeling that way about you anymore. Once, maybe, but not anymore. 

Best friend. 

She was never someone's best friend before. 

An annoying voice in her mind was quick to say that she won't be one for long anyway.

"Idiot." She muttered again, this time in English because it felt better suited. 

"Natasha?" 

Natasha froze, not meaning to be noticed by anyone as she was hoping to go to her room as quickly as possible, maybe rest a while. Then again, at least it was Steve and not Tony because she wasn't in the mood to deal with sass at the moment. 

"You okay?" Captain, bless his pure soul, cared for his team- regardless of their weaknesses and past. He didn't necessarily trust them with his life, as it turned out but Natasha wasn't going to dwell on it for long, still he cared and worried about them. 

Natasha put on a fake smile, yet to Steve it was genuine as always- as much a spy can be. "Yeah Cap. Don't worry 'bout me. Just a bit tired."

Steve didn't seem like he was convinced but he also wasn't going to push her, that much she was sure. So without expecting a reply she started to walk away, deciding to keep her thoughts inaudible. 

It wasn't until a week later that she met Clint again, and she wasn't even avoiding him (much). 

"Nat. Do you have a minute?"

"I really don't, Barton. I was just about to leave." She pointed to the door, half lying half honest. Clint didn't seem to buy it much to her dismay. 

"It'll really take a moment. It's important." His eyes were serious, quite unlike him to those who are too familiar with his playful nature- but not to Natasha, who has seen all sides of him. The fool, the optimistic, the assassin, the pessimistic, many more. Now looking in his eyes, she couldn't decide what he was about to say- it was either something that will make her really angry or something that will make her want to run away anyway. Either way she wasn't looking forward to it. A Clint who didn't want to turn everything into a joke took things way seriously, and he usually won the arguments as well.

After leading her into a room that was closest, he closed the door behind him, in hopes of some sort of privacy, although the omnipresence of JARVIS bugged her. 

"You were avoiding me." So he was cutting this short as he said.

Her eyes widened. "That's not true. I-"

Her face fell when he gave her an unimpressed glare. "You were avoiding me." He repeated, pretending that he didn't even hear her. "And I think I know why that is. And maybe you were right to."

She gulped down, and it felt like all the words she never had the courage to say burned down her throat and turned her heart into a pile of ash.

"I broke things off with Jess." 

What? 

She was about to say just as much but he stopped her with his hand slightly moving upwards, asking for a moment Natasha was willing to give. It would help her pull her thoughts together as well.

"I did it but not because of you. Maybe it's me. Who am I kidding, of course it's me." He gave her a crooked smile. She didn't bother fixing him. Jess was perfect and he was an idiot for letting her go. 

"I don't expect anything to come out of what happened the other day." She could feel his eyes studying her every move, putting experiences and words together so that he could understand what she was thinking about. She tried to keep her expressions to a minimum. This wasn't going to be easy. "But I need to know what it was about, Nat." He took a step towards her, she stood still. 

"I don't know what you want me to say." She muttered dark enough, almost daring him to come closer, because she wasn't going to allow it.

"You know nothing changed. You were always my best friend." He took another step forward, almost experimentally now. She could see that he was now calculating both their feelings, trying to make sure he was right whatever he was thinking about.

She stood still where she was, face as stoic as ever. "You said this would only take a minute." She complained instead, refusing to talk about it.

He closed the distance with one big step, staring deep into her eyes and she felt her breath catch.

"I might have lied." He muttered, almost as lost as she was, words nothing more than a mumble.

She moved two fingers into a V shape and brought it up on her forehead, signing him the word 'Stupid'.

He didn't let her finish it before closing in and pressing his lips against hers, a proper kiss and a promise.

He might be shit with serious relationships, but best friends? He could do.


End file.
